


Ghost Of You

by Namjoonsdimple



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-12 12:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17467613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namjoonsdimple/pseuds/Namjoonsdimple
Summary: If you were given the opportunity to go back and time to fix things, you would hesitate.You could go back to that day, the day that went horribly wrong. Or, you could go back to the day you to met. If you hadn’t stopped to tie your shoe, the two of you would have never met.





	1. Chapter 1

 

As you looked through the crates of vinyl, you hastily fumbled with your laces to tighten your old shoes. When you saw a pair of shiny black sneakers you quickly jumped up to get out of the way.

“Sorry-” you started, but the young man wasn’t even paying attention to you. His stunning eyes were looking past your figure focused on something much more interesting. He quickly picked up the sleeve next to you with a relieved look on his beautifully carved features.

You were awestruck by his strange beauty that your mouth remained slightly open, and you didn’t even notice that he was jacking the vinyl you were about to buy.

“H-hey!” you stuttered tugging the other side of it, “That’s mine.”

Finally, as if he just noticed you were standing there, he blinked a few times before uttering, “Have you bought it?”

“Well…no,” with that he tugged on it harder to release it from your grasp.

“Then it’s up for grabs, and it’s in my hands. Unless you want to fight for it.” Despite the threat sounding silly, the flatness of his voice made it seem serious.

Your eye twitched in annoyance as you reached for it again, but he held it up above your head. Far from your reach. You tried going to your tippy toes but it was no use. Jaebum on the other hand, while he failed to express it, was enjoying by your silly measures of trying to get it back.

“Fine!” You huffed, pulling your shirt back over your navel. “I have the original at home anyways.” You were about to storm off but he spoke up again causing your shoes to squeak to a halt.

“Why do you need this one then?” He asked.

“Because if I try to listen on the one I own, it’ll probably turn to dust. It’s freaking ancient.” A glimmer of interest cracked his stone face, “Really?” His change of tone caught you off guard, “I-It was my father’s so it’s literally one of the first editions still out there. I wouldn’t want to ruin it. That’s why I was trying to buy a newer one, but it’s fine. I’ll just order it online or something…” Ever since your father passed away, you’ve been collecting newer versions of his old vinyls so you can listen to his favorite music just like he used to when he was young. Your father was your best friend, and you wanted to enjoy the things he left behind for you appropriately.

Jaebum tucked the vinyl under his arm to stick out his hand, “My name is Jaebum.” Ever since moving to the city, you haven’t had a handshake since moving into your apartment. So you were a little weirded out by the basic gesture.

“(Y/N),” you replied, accepting his handshake.

It was there. It was that second, that minute, that aisle, that store, that city-  _that damned city._ That was the moment, the slight coincidence, that you became so effortlessly involved with Lim Jaebum.

And maybe at the time when you fell to your lowest, you would curse that day with all your heart and soul, wishing that you didn’t let that smile draw you in. And his strangely endearing charisma trap you into an endless pit of loving his stupid self.

At the time, you didn’t know that this stranger in a generic music store would become a burning stain in your memory. You thought that you would become friendly acquaintances. Someone you could meet up with every now and then to talk about music, and other simple things that every normal person enjoyed. But you didn’t expect to find so many things you enjoyed in common. You both liked oldies, which was a little lame thing you liked to keep to yourself. While your friends didn’t mock you over it, they did jab at you every now and then when it came to your mellow music interests. You both liked R&B, but who didn’t? But Jaebum, he was something else. He didn’t just listen to it, he made it too. That may have been one of the numerous factors for you falling head over heels.

“Wow,” you gasped taking a 360 view of his dim studio. He had a big desk with a computer with little trinkets and alcoholic beverages in the corner. Small polaroids plastered on the opposite wall. Jaebum smiled as he watched you look at every image as if it were fine art.

“I didn’t know you liked photography,” you grinned.

Your contagious smile spread to him as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I just like to take pictures when I need inspiration.”

“Can you play me something?” You asked excitedly. Jaebum’s cheeks tinged pink, but thankfully the purple lighting hid it from view. “I don’t know….” he trailed off looking at his computer reluctantly.

“Please!” You tugged the sleeve of his sweatshirt, purposely annoying him by nagging like a child.

“Fine!” he sighed, trudging into his seat. You followed him to his desk, jumping into the couch next to it, and leaning on the armrest with your chin cupped in your hands. Jaebum shook his head at you and scrolled through his files to find a project he was confident enough to show you. When he finally found something worthy enough, he took a deep breath and held it as he pressed play.

The sound of the music pour gently from his speakers. You concentrated a bit too hard on the music that you didn’t realize you were staring off into space with a blank expression. After a minute, Jaebum stopped it when he couldn’t read your face.

“Huh? Why’d you stop it?” You almost whined.

“It’s not done yet so…”

“It sounds great Jaebum! Why are you being so humble for?” You chuckled. “You really made that all by yourself?”

“Ah…yeah.”

“That’s awesome. Surely you have some sort of outlet for this right?”

You hopped up from the couch and went to the other side of his desk to look at his screen. Jaebum opened a tab revealing a Soundcloud where he uploaded all his other works.

“Defsoul?” You read aloud.

“It’s my alias,” he started, “I use that name for my music.”

“Oooh, so mysterious,” you teased. Jaebum rolled his eyes, nudging you playfully.

“In all honesty Jaebum,” you giggled, “I think you’ll strike gold really soon. It’s only a matter of time before you blow up.”

“Yeah right,” he leaned back in his chair to look at you better.

“I bet that you will, and when you do, you owe me six whole jugs of strawberry milk.”

“That is too much for one girl to consume, I hope you know that,” he snickered.

“You underestimate me. But how bout it?”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll give you my antique OG copy of that one vinyl that we fought over when we met.” Jaebum cocked his head in thought, “Deal.” And with one brisk handshake, the bet was on.

Of course, at first, the deal was just for fun.

You would go to random people in the street when you were hanging out, asking them if they knew Defsoul just to fuck with him. But it soon became a pursuit of yours to get his name out there. At the time, Jaebum did little to nothing to try and get recognition, he simply didn’t think he was good enough. But you knew he was. You knew he could take the world by storm.

You believed in him.

You believed in his passion and you believed in his talent.

So your silly antics soon became a serious goal. Behind his back you would have meetings with small companies, pitching his music on his behalf. It was hard when you began, and you could see why Jaebum was so hesitant in the first place.

**_The music business was a cruel one._ **

But you were too stubborn to quit. So you rolled up your sleeves and aimed bigger. You went to more and more companies, spending your days running all over the city and nearly throwing everything else away just for him.

Because that’s what you do for your friends.

Maybe it was your stubbornness, or maybe it was the love you didn’t know you felt towards him that made you keep trying. Soon you started getting positive responses, and you would give out his number in return. Until one night Jaebum was banging on the door of your apartment at 2 am.

“You know, this is the time that normal people sleep right?” You muttered when you opened the door. You hadn’t actually been sleeping, but you were still annoyed at his demanding presence at such an hour.

What you didn’t expect was for him to rush into your apartment with his hands tangled in his hair, panting up a storm.

“Jaebum what’s wrong are you okay?!” You suddenly went pale with panic. It looked like he ran all the way there, and his limbs were shaking. When he turned to face you, his face was instead bright with excitement. A big smile plastered on his face.

“I got a call from JYP!” he shouted in happiness. It took you a minute to process, then you remembered the company of the many you went to. But initially, JYP Entertainment didn’t seem interested in Jaebum at all. You didn’t expect them to contact him at all.

“Really?” Your smile growing, equally as shocked.

“Yes, they just called me right now! I did it (Y/N), I’m gonna be a solo artist!” he continued to pace around your small living room, unable to contain his happiness.

“T-this is all too crazy! I don’t even know how they found me…” he trailed off before stopping abruptly. You nervously chewed your lip hoping in anticipation.

“It was you wasn’t it?” he asked quietly. His back facing you.

“I may have possibly had something to do with it.” You inched away bracing yourself to hear him blow up. Jaebum was scary when he was mad. Thankfully you’ve never done anything to face his anger, but when he blew up about other things it made you think twice about what you say around him. When he turned around, you flinched awaiting to hear his wrath, instead, you felt him wrap his arms around you tightly.

“Jaebum?” You muffled into his sweatshirt. When he let go, you gasped for air that was quickly cut off when he pressed his lips against yours. You squeaked in shock, not being able to process what was happening. You were still trapped in his arms so you couldn’t move even if you wanted to. Your paralyzed state soon melted away and you relaxed into the kiss, enjoying the warmth his body had to offer. His lips were as soft as they looked and they felt so right against yours. You didn’t dare think of his lips this way before in fear that you would hurt yourself in the end. But right now, you let all those thoughts floods into the front of your mind as if this contact unlocked a dam full of feelings you didn’t know you had. When he pulled away, you gasped for air. “I-I’m sorry,” he released you immediately, putting himself at arms distance with his hands still locked on your shoulders.

You bit your lip with blush taking up your cheeks. “Why are you sorry?” You smiled, reaching your arms back around his neck. Jaebum relaxed again as you leaned back up again to place another peck on his lips. “Why do you have to be so tall?” You complained when you came down from your tippy toes.

“Why do you have to be so short?” He snickered, picking you up easily over his shoulder and carrying you to the sofa.

“When did you become so strong!” You yelped when he dropped you on the cushions.

“I’ve always been strong,” he smiled hovering over you and placing another kiss on your temple. “Really I can never tell with all these damn oversized sweatshirts you wear,” you teased tugging on his sleeve. At that moment Jaebum pulled his black sweatshirt over his head and tossing on the ground.

“You. Are. A dork.” You giggled letting your hands run up his strong arms. Thankfully he had a tank top on under. Thankfully. You hands trailed up along his shoulders, his neck until they cupped his face. Jaebum leaned into your palms, grinning until his eyes until they were beautiful crescents.

“I love you. You know that?” he said, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“I love you too, you big dummy.”

“I love you more, silly girl,” he replied leaning back down to pepper your face with more kisses.

After that day, you two were inseparable.

Due to his job, of course, you couldn’t be seen together. He was a new celebrity, so dating was completely out of the question. Just to be safe, the two of you decided to not officially date. But that didn’t stop you two from spending every minute together behind closed doors for the purest of conversations and desperation to just be together.

Every night you’d stay at his apartment just to sleep under the same blanket because those were the only hours you could see each other without getting in trouble. And those moments were especially sweet and valuable when they were so anticipated throughout the daylight hours. Even when Jaebum was busy in his studio, just being in the same room was enough for you. And maybe that’s why things turned out the way that they did. Eventually, he became busier, sometimes never getting home until you’ve already fallen asleep in his covers full of his scent. And the days he did, he stayed at his desk in front of that monitor in the dark. His headset on his ears and his mind checked out of the world.

You understood of course. It was his job, his dream. You were ready for this, at least that’s what you thought. You knew what you were getting into when his career started. You spent your life single and doing well on your own, and this was not much different. Even if Jaebum was too busy to talk or hang out, you stuck by his side like glue. And he became too engulfed in his work that self-care was starting to go out the window. After some argument, you brought it onto yourself to take care of him while he did his thing. Every night was the same situation. You’d come in (with your own set of keys so you wouldn’t disturb him), clean up whatever chaotic mess that he makes, make a proper meal for him, and made sure he at least had a glass of water before you went to bed. And when you’re dead asleep, you found comfort when he’d eventually crawl into bed and lay his head in the crook of your neck. Even if the only real time you could spend together was sleeping for a few hours, it was enough for you. Because anything he could give was starting to become enough for you.

Until it wasn’t enough anymore.

“Jaebum,” you tapped his shoulder with a glass of water in your hand. He didn’t even spare you a glance, instead, he tapped a spot on his wooden desk where ring stains sat from previous cups. You placed the glass down and took a seat next to his desk to look at his computer screen, even though none of the things on it made sense to you.

“Jaebum?” You tapped his shoulder again. His loud music came to a halt and he pulled his headset from his head with a deep sigh. “What is it?” he replied curtly, rubbing his red eyes.

“I think you should take a break.”

As if he insulted, a frown spread on his face and he shook his head. “I don’t have time. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Baby, I’m just worried about you. It’s not good for you staying up so late like this. It’s making you irritable.”

“I’m not irritable,” he grumbled pulling his headset back around his neck.

“You yelled at Nora the other day. You never yell at her,” you replied gently. Jaebum rubbed his temples, “If the only you have for me is a lecture then you can just leave because I don’t have time for this right now.” You felt your heart squeeze at his harsh words. You sat there stunned for a minute, waiting for him to take it back. But this time he didn’t. He just pulled his headphones back over his head and went back to work. A knot formed in your throat, so you quickly hurried away from his office so he wouldn’t see you cry. When you got to his bedroom, you let your hot tears roll down your cheeks as you silently wept. Nora walking between your legs and nuzzling your calf. The cat brought a smile to your face, “Don’t worry Nora. Your dad is just busy, he still loves you.” You picked her up and carried her to the bed and let yourself fall to sleep with her in your arms.

Jaebum did not come to bed that night.

Or the night after. Or the night after that.

The man you knew and loved was being possessed by his career, and you were becoming nothing but a distant priority. Even when in the same room he’d barely acknowledge you there. If it weren’t so painful, it would be so funny how things came full circle. Even the day you met, he cared more about music than he did about you.

Jaebum wasn’t Jaebum anymore, he was Defsoul. The new star in the scene and he did not have time for you anymore. Jaebum wasn’t yours. He belonged to his music and his fans. And the only person you saw was Defsoul in his flashy clothes and his cool exterior. Even though his soft, gentle self was crumbling before you and he wasn’t giving you anything anymore, you still wanted to give so more. You were hopelessly whipped even if he didn’t love you anymore. Because no matter how much he was breaking your heart, you couldn’t bear to let him go.

Then the day came.

The day that shattered your heart to pieces that even you couldn’t put back together.

As you swept up the accumulating wrappers on his floor, your phone buzzed in your pocket. Rubbing your tired eyes you picked it up without checking the caller ID.

“(Y/N!)” You recognized it as your cousin’s voice, a small smile spreading on your tired features. The two of you hadn’t talked in a while, and it was nice to hear his familiar voice.

“Hey-”

“(Y/N), I have some really bad news…”

Your smile faltered, “W-what is it?”

Your fingers shook, causing you to drop your broom on the ground. A choked sob stuck in your throat.

“(Y/N), your mother she-she’s dead. There was an accident…” His voice began to fade as your cell phone fell to the ground, shattering your screen. Your heart hammered in in your chest, the same words echoing over and over in your ears.

_“Your mother is dead.”_

“J-Jaebum?” you managed to whimper. As if the world were spinning you stumbled down the hall, into his office. Tears still paralyzed in your eyes.

“Jaebum?” You tapped his shoulder, but he ignored you.

“Jaebum!” You smacked his shoulder with a loud pop. Quickly he ripped off his headset, face twisted in plain anger.

“What do you want (Y/N)!,” he shouted. His loud voice driving an extra knife into your heart. Before you could even open your mouth, he stood up tossing his headset on his desk.

“You know what- I can’t do this right now!” He smashed his hands into his hair, glaring at you fiercely. “Do you always have to be here? Seriously it’s starting to become really annoying how clingy you are!” Each word rang in your ear.

“Jae-” You tried to speak.

“No, no. I just. You need to leave okay, we just need to be apart for a while.” And that was the last stake. You found enough strength in your legs to run out of his room, your mind still fuzzy from everything falling apart so fast.

You grabbed your phone from the ground and shoved in your pocket. When you reached into the other, you pulled out your set of keys feeling your tears starting well up before dropping them on the counter. Nora sat at your feet watching you curiously but you couldn’t even bring yourself to throw the cat one last smile before running out of his apartment.

And that was the last time you ever saw him- well, the last time in person anyways.

It took Jaebum three days to realize something was up.

Whilst stumbling over his shoes he noticed your keys buried under the accumulating mess on his counter.

He called but you didn’t answer. Instead, he got a robotic voice, “We’re sorry you have a reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service…”

Pulling the phone away from his face, he exchanged a worried glance at the door. Why would you change your number and not tell him? Maybe something happened. With that in mind, Jaebum grabbed his own keys and headed out to your place. The ride there gave him time to grow increasingly anxious. It was unlike you to do something like that with saying anything beforehand. And you hadn’t dropped by in while either.

You and Jaebum have had fights before and usually, it wasn’t serious. Sometimes it was due to his own stubbornness and other times it was your complaining. But it never stopped you from seeing him or him from wanting you around. Your last fight wasn’t any different, he’s told you to buzz off a few times when he got overwhelmed by your presence because honestly, Jaebum still wasn’t used to having someone doting in him. You were the first person to stick around despite his introverted tendencies.

Just as he was about to knock on your door, an elderly woman came out from the apartment next to yours.

“Oh, you’re the new tenant? That was quick!”

“New tenant? N-no I’m just here to see someone.”

The old woman’s wrinkled face contorted in confusion. “You mean that sweet young lady? She moved just yesterday,” her worn hands touched a cross dangling from her neck, “Poor thing. First her dad, now her mom. I can’t imagine what she must be going through.”

“She…” his hand fell to his side as dread started to weigh down on him. “D-do you know where she went?” The old woman shook her head sympathetically. “Sorry dear,” she replied. “You should try contacting her boyfriend. She talks an awful lot of good about him, I’m sure he can help you track her down.”

Jaebum swallowed the knot in his throat. His stomach turned at least twenty times. Immediately he started dialing up numbers of people you knew only to get the same response every time, that you have probably gone back to your hometown to see your family. But you never told him where you were from, only that you weren’t native to the city. He didn’t know your family, and he could ask his own friends. Nobody was to know you two were dating. Jaebum cursed himself over and over for not asking you these things in the first place.

You had completely disappeared off the face of his earth, and the fact that you had vanished so quickly struck fear into his core.

Every day he would check your apartment complex on the rare chance that you’d stop by, he’d stray the areas you used to hang out but the locals claimed to not know of your whereabouts. When he started getting more famous it was hard to search for you without being bombarded by fans. Eventually, he couldn’t ask your name in fear that the press would stir something up.

You were gone just like that, but he couldn’t stop hoping, praying that you were going to show up one night in his house with that smile on your face.

He grew wary when the memory of your voice that was starting to fade from his mind, and the sweet vanilla scent of your skin becoming foreign to his senses.

Every time he entered his office at work he was reminded that you were gone when he looked at that stupid vinyl you gifted him despite you winning that bet.

Every night he scrolled through images of you on his phone so he wouldn’t forget your face. Days were going by, weeks, months, and long grueling years without a word. You were starting to fade from the memories of your own friends as if you never even existed. It was almost like Jaebum was the only one left who remembered you. Even when it was looking like you would never come back, he still held onto that hope. Because admitting defeat, would make this all too real.

You were gone.

And you were never coming back.


	2. [Epilogue]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, fluff, a little bit saucy if you squint really, really hard.  
> I thought that I’d make a conclusion to this story and I actually rewrote this several times.
> 
> Sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, I went through it a few times but I’m really bad at catching them sometimes.

_You sat at the edge of the bathtub, hands trembling and tears streaming down your face._

_Another fight._

_It was becoming so commonplace._

_Your hair stuck to your neck, nausea filling your chest._

_How were you going to tell him? How could you when things were turning out like this?_

* * *

 

Jaebum leaned his head out the window boredly as his manager recited his schedule. His eyes fixated on the numerous busy bodies walking up and down the sidewalks. He decided he’d rather be out there than in this vehicle.

“Are you listening?” HIs manager snapped. Jaebum sighed, “Of course. Let’s just get on with it,” Jaebum frowned gesturing for the driver to take off. His manager huffed before leaning back in her seat.

Just as the driver was about to pull out from the parking space, his eyes fell on a figure exiting one of the stores holding the hand of a little girl. He jolted up in his seat his face practically pressed against the glass as he watched you kneel down to fix the scarf around the child’s neck with a sweet smile.

“Stop the car!” He yelled and opened the door, ignoring the sound of his manager calling after him. He clumsily pushed past people trying to get to you. You who walked as carelessly and gracefully as you always did. Your hair floating behind you just out of reach of his fingertips.

“She’s real. It’s her, it’s really her,” his mind raced as he stumbled over his face and making a fool of himself. You crossed the street and the cars sped by once you made it to the other side. Jaebum halted at the edge of the crosswalk frantically watching the distance growing between you. The cars weren’t slowing down. He stayed edging close and back up only to tread on the edge again desperately waiting for a break between cars to bolt back after you.

“(Y/N!)” He yelled at the top of his lungs. You stopped in your tracks looking back, pale like you had seen a ghost.

His heart rammed against his chest.

A bus passed between you but the second it was gone, you were too.

Jaebum sat on the bench directly in front of the apartment building. Coffee in hand, waiting as the sun rose on the horizon shining on the windows. When the doors opened, his head perked up.

You swung your scarf around your neck and reached for the little girl’s hand. It was the same kid he saw you with the other night. As you made your way down the sidewalk, Jaebum lept to his feet, following you from a safe distance. A few blocks down the street, you dropped the little girl off at school.

This time he waited at the entrance for you to come back out. When you came out the front doors, you bumped right into his chest.

“I’m so sorry-” You started but your mouth clamped shut when you made I contact with him. His palms stayed on your shoulders as his eyes drank you in like a parched man in a desert. The image of you that was fading from his memory was slowly being revived. His hands squeezed you just to make sure you were real.

“J-Jaebum?” You gulped. His eyes flicked to your lips and back up to your eyes.

“It’s me. It’s me,” he whispered. Your mouth hung open unable to speak.

Jaebum took this as his chance to pull you into his chest, squeezing you tightly and kissing your head through your hair.

You still smelled the same, and you still fit perfectly in his arms. “I missed you so much,” he sighed. You pulled out from his hug, self consciously pulling on the drawstrings of your sweatshirt. “H-how did you find me?” You stuttered, looking into the windows of the elementary school frantically.

“I searched up your nickname and I found you,” His eyes trailed to the window you were staring at. A sudden ball of dread filling in his stomach. He looked down at your hands, luckily there were no rings, which eased some of the dread away.

“Whose kid was that?”

You bit your lips, swallowing hard. “I-I. We need to talk.”

You hastily texted your boss to let him know an emergency came up, you felt bad since you knew the cafe was light handed these days.

You sat awkward, feeling Jaebum’s stare on you. He couldn’t tear his eyes away even if he wanted to. Everything about you was exactly the same except for the tired circles under your eyes and the noticeable thinness of your body. Your clothes hung a little more off your body than usual from the stress-induced weight loss among under things.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere more private?” You whispered hastily as you watched bystanders point and take pictures of the two of you in a small cafe.

He leaned forward squeezing your cold hands from across the table making you gasp.

 “Do you remember when we used to come here?” He smiled.

This small coffee shop was a special place. After every date you would end up here, talking for long hours before the owners eventually kicked you out. The irony that you two would reunite under such a sentimental roof almost made you laugh.

Hesitantly you pulled your hands back playing with your sleeves with your head hanging low. Anxiously you looked down at your worn fingernails and blisters around them.

“I didn’t think you’d remember that stuff,” you sighed. “It’s been so long, I thought you forgot about that crap already.”

Jaebum’s eyebrows furrowed together, “Forget? How could I forget about you? I spent the last five years looking for you (y/n).”

You slumped even more in your seat focusing on your hands, “Things are different now Jaebum. You’re famous and I work at a coffee house. You have millions of fans and I...I have a kid.” You wouldn’t dare look up at his distraught face.

“You...have a boyfriend?” The pain in his voice was so evident that you felt your heart shudder.

“No. I haven’t dated anyone since you.”

“Then who…”

“Are you really going to make me say it?” Your voice shook. “You have a daughter Jaebum.” Your voice went quieter in case anyone was listening. This time you did manage to raise your head, Jaebum’s eye was wide with shock. “H-How? You were pregnant? Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Jaebum keep your voice down!” You pulled out your phone to show him your lock screen. It was a picture of you and your daughter smiling into the camera with your cheeks pushed together. Jaebum looked down at the phone on the table, but you weren’t able to read any emotions other than distraught. He shook his head, reaching for your hand again, squeezing it much tighter this time.

“I didn’t want to be in the way anymore, so I kept it a secret. That night I-I just...I just couldn’t bear it anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I promise I didn’t tell anyone. Please, we’ll stay out of your way-”

“(Y/N).” His firm voice made you shut your mouth. “I’m not going to hurt you, I’m not going to hurt either of you, and I’m definitely not going to let you slip through my fingers again.” Jaebum reached forward, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, “I’m so, so, so sorry. I let you down, I let our daughter down. Please, please, give me a chance to fix everything.”

“But your career, your fans-”

“-Will just have to deal it. You are more important to me than my stupid job ever was. I should have made that clearer all those years ago. Please believe me.”

Your hands were trembling and tears threatened to spill from your eyes, “I...don’t…” Before you could finish, Jaebum got up from his seat and knelt on the ground before you, bowing his head until his head touched the ground.

“Don’t do that!” You pulled him back on his feet, looking around at the phone cameras pointed in your direction. Jaebum cupped your face, staring down at you with those eyes that made your knees buckle every time. Your heart was beating a thousand miles telling you to let him in but the tiny voice in your head whispered anxious thoughts into your subconscious.

“Let me try to earn your trust, I promise you won’t regret it.”

“Okay,” you choked back another tear, moving out of his grasp again. Half relief, half disappointment towards yourself resonating in your chest. Jaebum watched you go through the motions with concern taking note of your efforts to stay out of his touch.

You wiped your tears away taking in a deep breath to compose yourself. You never thought you’d be confronted by him again, you could only dream that one day Prince Charming would come back for his Princess. But harsh reality told you that Prince Charming had better things to than worry about you. But here he was, still as handsome as ever. And as much as you scorned your heart for still being so stupidly in love with him, you couldn’t help but be happy.

And your pride wasn’t having it.

“I’m going to work,” you said finally. As you collected your bag, Jaebum pulled on your backpack string.

“You can’t.”

“And why not?” You frowned, “I still have to make a living for my child.”

“Because I’m afraid you’ll disappear again,” he replied. You almost laughed, not in a mocking way as you should. Instead, out of guilt. Of course, he would think that because running away is what you seem to do best. “Let me take care of you,” he patted his pants down frantically and handed you his wallet, “I can take care of you- both of you! You’ll never have to work another day in your life!” You stood in discomfort staring down at the wallet that he dropped in your hand. “I don’t want you to suffer anymore because of me.”

A small smile fell on your lips as you dropped it back in his hands, “You’re still so overdramatic.”

“Since when did I ever care about money?” You snickered at his dumbfounded face. “If I wanted to be rich I would be by now.”

Jaebum’s mouth hung open unable to speak.

You smiled softly again, “Let’s go for a walk. I want to tell you about our daughter.”

Jaebum held the stuffed rabbit in his hand, anxiously moving left to right on his feet. Other mom’s picking up their kids gave him adoring looks and giggled to each other.

You finally came out through the doorway, waving to someone to follow you. Just behind you a little girl with a backpack way too big for her, trotted after you, latching on to your hand.

His heart sped up in his chest as you led her closer and closer, the little girl finally taking notice of his tall form watching her expectantly. Shyly, she hid behind your leg.

“Jina, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Jaebum knelt down, lost for words as he searched for her eyes.

“Jaebum, this is Jina.”

“Jina…” Jaebum whispered in awe. Jina shrank further behind your leg, “Jina, this is Jaebum. He’s your father.” The girl's eyes lit up and she finally came out from behind your legs. Finally, he could see her features better. He could see his eyes in hers with the beauty marks to match. Everything else was you though, down to your messy hair and the permanent pout on your face.

“I thought you got kidnapped by werewolves!” She whined. Jaebum looked at you confused, but you only returned with a wink.

“Werewolves aren’t strong enough to keep me from you baby girl,” he grinned. Jina’s eyes sparkled and she jumped into his arms, “I thought you would never come home! I thought they turned you into a big, ugly, stinky werewolf,” she cried into his shirt. Jaebum ran his fingers into her hair, squeezing her into a big hug, “I’m sorry I took so long,” he replied soothingly and met your teary eyes. “I’ll never let you go.”

Despite your objections, Jaebum fulfilled his goal of sweeping you off your feet. Just like a fairytale story. The princess comes for the princess and gives her a life she could never imagine.

He got you out of your old apartment and took care of any bills you hadn’t paid off. You had to quit your job because the cafe would get swarmed by his rabid fans. Jina however, was loving the royal treatment. Toys, and toys, and the best education a parent can offer. Even though you were annoyed with the lifestyle change, it warmed your heart to see Jaebum so excited to show off his daughter at work and in public.

The company reacted more positively than you thought, something about the CEO having a daughter of his own. Apparently, Jaebum got a stern talking to about responsibility and fatherhood. Of course, his fans supported him. But there were some that were out for your neck, and for Jina’s. You couldn’t go anywhere now without an entourage, and Jaebum close by. You had gotten some threats from his psycho fans about trying to kill you or harm your child. Thankfully, you didn’t use social media so these threats did no good. And nobody could threaten your family when you had no other family left besides Jina and Jaebum. You had to get used to having people at your beck and call, dressing you, driving you around to interviews, and any other events that required Jaebum’s mysterious lover. You had to get used to paparazzi flashing cameras in your face, having to smile and answer probing questions. The general media trying to dig up anything controversial about your life. They found nothing. You had no parents left, a family name that ended with you. You weren’t extraordinary in any way, you had no outstanding achievements other than scoring Jaebum apparently. It was almost like you had appeared out of nowhere. What distant relatives you had suddenly pretended to care about your existence. Trying to claim you back into their lives for the clout. You never thought the life of a celebrity could be so tiring.

You were his fiance now, title wise. It only made sense to get engaged when the two of you have a daughter, the public wouldn’t have it otherwise. As great as it would be, your relationship had not quite turned back to it once was.

Jaebum was different now, a mature and busy young man. Capable and no longer the introverted boy you used to know.

You were fiercely independent. After you had left him, you had learned to survive without anyone’s help of emotional comfort. Jina became your rock, and you lived to see her happy.

You didn’t sit around waiting for Jaebum to give you the time of day, but he would make it a point to hold your hand every minute you were together, laying kisses on your cheeks as greetings and farewells. Every few seconds he would drop everything and ask, “Are you okay?”, “Do you need anything?” The dormant feelings igniting every time. But other than those fleeting moments, you spent your time alone.

At least you had more time for yourself and your own music. Whenever he would kidnap Jina for the day, you would spend hours in your new apartment playing the piano or strumming a guitar. Other times you would hang around the office, helping the staff out.

You sat on a stool tuning one of the guitars in the studio, gently humming to yourself.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding,” you jolted when you heard his voice fill the small room. Your eyes snapped at him, sighing your hair out of your face, “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he pulled a stool in front of you and sat awkwardly. He never did quite fit on furniture. “Whatcha’ doing?”

“Your guitar is out of tune,” you replied curtly. Plucking one of the strings and adjusting it accordingly. “Where’s Jina?”

“She’s taking a nap in the living room, Jackson is watching her.”

You bobbed your head and struggled to keep your eyes off of him. It was hard when he was so close that your knees were touching and his scent taking over the air. Your fingers were becoming red and raw from playing with the metal strings for so long.

“Do you still sing?”

Jaebum asked after a while. You nodded, “When I’m alone.”

He leaned a bit closer, pulling your hand off the strings to look at your palms. Fingers dancing over yours to see the redness of your finger pads. “When will you sing for me? I miss your voice.” Redness crawled to your cheeks as you pulled your hand back, pushing your hair behind your ear. Jaebum chuckled, “Why are you so flustered?”

“I’m not-” Before you knew it, he had leaned forward and landed his lips right on yours. Your eyes widened in surprise as he kissed you gently. The kiss felt like a million years but it only lasted a second.

“-I’m sorry,” he pulled back quickly. His face was as red as yours. It was funny now when you think of it, two people who had a baby together, blushing like an inexperienced high school couple. A smile crawled on your face and you cleared your throat to hold back a laugh, “You are so lame. How did I let you put a baby in me?”

Jaebum’s face lit up red even more at that comment, “You didn’t think I was so lame when I was doing it now did you?” He fired back. A snort finally managed to jump out followed by even more giggles. Jaebum’s shoulders finally relaxed, “You're so weird.”

“Oh yeah?” You set the guitar down, scooting your chair closer, tangling your fingers into one his hands. “I guess we’ll never grow up huh?” You played with his fingers and drew circles in his palms like you used to do when you were younger in the confines of your old apartment.

“I don’t want to grow up if I’m not growing up with you.”

Your eyes flicked up, “So stubborn. God, you must have such a big crush on me. How embarrassing.”

His hand raised your chin up to line your face up with his, his eyes scanning your face all over before landing on your eyes. “I know. You have me wrapped around your finger.”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty annoying,” Your words struck a chord in him making him kiss you again, this time moving his lips against yours softly.

You felt the way that you felt you two first kiss. Empty, then a sudden tidal wave of blood rushing through your veins.

He rubbed your warm cheeks with his thumbs, pulling your face closer to tread on your bottom lip. When you teasingly didn’t let him in, he pulled back briefly to move your jaw and used that small window of time to push his way in. You giggled and he responded by squeezing your shoulders, drawing his fingers up into your hair.

This time you pinched his cheeks, but he still wouldn’t let your silliness distract him.

He only backed up to pull you onto his lap.

You giggled again, poking his soft cheeks despite the pout on his face. “I missed you,” his voice was raspy as he leaned into your hand.

“I know.”

His arms were tied around your back, not leaving you much space between you. You could feel his steady heartbeat in his chest, and the way his muscles twitched every time he moved his arms. You missed his squishier self, but the thought of him being more muscular made your mouth twitch with curiosity. Jaebum rested his head on your shoulder, treading on the base of your t-shirt. His cold hands dipping under to touch your skin.

“Do you keep your hands in the freezer boy?” You joked.

“Is it uncomfortable?” He murmured, tracing his hands up your spine. You yelped in surprise, swatting his back. Shivers rushed onto your skin, making him chuckle. His lips trailed up the side of your neck as his hands continued to rub up and down your back. Jaebum hummed into your cheek, lifting your shirt half way up your waist. You glanced at the door of his studio, but he moved your face back to him, “Just focus on me, okay?” he whispered pecking your lips. Jaebum lifted you up with ease and laid you back down on his couch. Even though this was something he’d done dozens of times before, your heart still raced. Your stomach tying into a knot. Nervous hiccups popped out of your mouth, making him chuckle, kissing you again. Each kiss growing needier and needier. Grazing the side of your face, “I love you, you know that?”

You chewed on your lip, darting your eyes away. You could feel him watching you carefully.

“Do you not believe me? I wouldn’t believe me either if I were you.”

“I told myself that you didn’t love me for five years to keep myself from coming back,” you hiccuped again.

“I love you more than anything in this world,” he replied quietly. “I would give my life for yours without hesitation, even if you hated my guts.”

“Gosh you’re intense,” you giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you too, but I’m sure you know that.”

A sheepish smile crawled on his face. “Forever and ever?”

“Forever and ever.” His hands trailed up to your stomach, and he leaned back to pull up your shirt. Faint scars and stretch marks were like lightning on your skin. “It must have been so hard being all alone,” he mumbled tracing his thumbs over the faint lines.

“I can’t believe I missed the whole thing.”

You covered your abdomen with your arms self-consciously, “They haven’t completely healed yet, I lost a lot of weight afterward.”

“But I like them. They look cool,” he pulled your arms away to continue looking are your scars.

“It’s not that cool.”

“You made a tiny human, that’s pretty fucking cool.” His hands resting on the waistband of your sweatpants, “You have more yeah?” He didn’t give you a chance to answer, he was already pulling your waistband down and lifting them off your legs.

“Jaebum!” You nagged. It was too late, he had already pulled them off and dropped them on the ground.

“Woah…” he gasped looking at the more prominent tiger stripes climbing up the sides of your hips and around your thighs. His fingers traced along each light little squiggle with fascination, “Do they hurt?”

“No,” Jaebum continued to poke your skin, “Why are you so interested?”

“I never thought I’d see you like this. I wish I could have seen you when you were pregnant though,” he replied resting his hands back on your stomach. “Can you make more?” His eyes glimmered.

“How many could you possibly want?” You laughed.

“Ten. But I don’t want you to be in pain, so three?”

“Well, ten indeed sounds absolutely awful. But I think three is a reasonable number.” Jaebum’s eyes lit up, “Really? Can we?”

“Jina has always wanted a sibling, I couldn’t quite break it to her that babies don’t come from cabbage patches.”

“Can we start now?” He leaned back down to press his forehead against yours.

“Sure if you wanna get fired.”

Jaebum glanced at the door, “It’s locked, so I guess you’ll just have to be quiet.”

“What happened to my nerdy little boy,” you replied squeezing his cheeks. His head fell in the crook of your neck, and his heavy body fell onto yours. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with your arms slung around his neck and his steady breathing. Your hands trailed around his back, feeling all the new muscle that replaced the softness you had come to know. His hair reached his neck now and you liked to run your fingers through it. You could feel his eyelashes flutter against your skin, and his him slowly becoming more and more relaxed.

He missed this. He missed these moments with you where he felt safe. After years of craving your touch, he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to stay like this in your arms, or if he wanted to kiss every inch of your skin and hear your voice echo off the walls.

His eyes began to lull to the hypnotizing sound of your calm heartbeat. Before you knew it, he had fallen asleep with his arm dangling off the side of the couch and the other lazily lying against your hip. You had no other choice but to let your one eyes fall shut, and succumb to warm blissful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> please don't hurt me, i posted the same story on tumblr lol.


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